Trigger warning: Sexual violence

After being raped, our Founder — in a fawn response — trauma-bonded to her assailant while shaking. She was friends with his brother, and trying to be kind. True to her empath nature, she chose compassion for whatever inner turmoil drove her assailant to do that, and needed to believe he was genuinely sorry. She abandoned herself to survive emotionally; her abuser then also became her source of comfort. She was only able to see him clearly, and break her denial of him as a predator, after he raped her again, and then tried to use intimidation and physical violence to silence her.

Being publicly attacked, and told she was a demon who belonged in jail, for mentioning rape was the last straw. Once she left, broke the trauma bond, and found the courage to speak up two months later, a very powerful man in the Nosara community helped her heal, raise her standards and learn healthy boundaries. He taught her not to run, but to learn self-protection. At one point, she had to face her rapist almost daily in this small town, and not let is break her or ruin her day. What this gifted her is mastery over her mind and body, and the ability to create positive outcomes in any circumstances. The result? A warrior was born, with equal strength to her compassionate side.

In wanting to make sure this didn’t happen to anyone else, and feeling that speaking up was in the highest interest of the community, a system was created to subtly warn others. It worked when other victims, men and women, reached out to share experiences of sexual assault, violence and theft by the same individual. They aligned their cases. Then a woman — who was a FRIEND — was told to contact her after being drugged, beat and violently raped by the same man. This woman’s body was covered in horrific bruising. Our Founder held her sister through her own PTSD triggers, helped her submit evidence and file charges immediately, and sought legal counsel on how to stop this. When another report of rape came in days later, the incredible men in our community ran the assailant out of town. Sis, Check the List was born out of necessity in Nosara.

We hope to work with the police and experience a Nosara where arrests actually happen. In the interim, we build our independent systems for community protection.